Maze

Seeing you these past few days, I somehow got lost again.
I thought I was finding my way out, but I guess I'm wrong again.

I don't know if I do have feelings for you, or if everything is just an illusion I created for myself.
Somehow nothing feels right, yet it couldn't possibly feel more right than it is?

Silence fills in between us, I just don't know what to say. At first it doesn't feel awkward, it somehow feels right, like that's just how it should be. But then after a while it does get awkward.
Awkward silence. I feel it strongly, and I have no idea what to say.
I think you felt it too, you tried making small conversations.  Or maybe you really need to ask me those questions and it's all my own illusion again. I tried making small conversations too, and meh I failed. It ended up with more awkward silence I guess.

I don't know anything about you anymore. Somehow I could feel that you're okay, yet somehow sometimes I felt that you're not and I'm just a nuisance. I get so confused around you damn it.

I seriously don't know what I should do anymore. I can't exactly walk away cause I still have to face you and I need your help. Sigh.

Meh I don't even know what I'm babbling about anymore, and somehow listening to Gackt's Last Song, the guitar made me want to cry so much.

Fine, I go cry. Ciao.

Sungai Long Fun Run 2013

Blehhh. Time flies freaking fast. It's already Tuesday, or technically, Wednesday since it's past 12am now. :/ It's 1.13am now lol, and I'm not asleep yet cause I've eaten cheesy wedges earlier at 10.30pm. FATTTTTT T____T But temptation too great, damn it. Anyway, I'm still waiting a while before I go to bed so I er...could digest it first? FML okay I know I probably make no sense.

Anyway, on Sunday I went for Sungai Long Fun Run, by Hospital Sungai Long. It's a 8.4km run, and to be honest I had no idea how far is 8.4km lol. I did not see the map of the run too, so I was totally unprepared about the distance.

At first I never thought I'll join this run. Initially I went with Crystal to register for it, but we're too late. The registration is closed because the participants reached over a 1000 people.
Then later, Sofea contacted me and ask if I would like to take the place of Hafizah. I was only happy to accept xD Yay, got to run after all.

On Sunday I woke at around 6.10am, and got ready. I waited for Sofea to come over with the T-Shirt, and after I changed we walked to the Hospital.

*All photos are taken from Sofea's album, I did not bring my phone haha.

When we got there the crowd is doing warm up exercises lol. We joined in too, though half heartedly :x

Peace!

Anyway, I felt really energetic :D And I think all my normal jogs below my condo really prepared me for this run. I've never ran so much in my life before, I did not get out of breath or tired easily.

I sprint ahead leaving Sofea behind :x Lol I just felt like I have to keep running, something that I need to accomplish.

The run start at the Hospital, then it goes to Mahkota Cheras. From Makhkota cheras, it goes to the road that leads to Cheras Perdana/ Batu Sembilan, but we did not go that way. We turned left instead and got out to the Highway leading into Sungai Long, pass the toll lol.

Then it pass through the Taman Rakan road and back to Sungai Long. Lol I think this paragraph is rubbbish to those that does not live in these area. xD

RELA controlling the traffic

I think we started running at 7.15am. I reached the hospital at 8.45am. 
Lol I was quite early I think, if I remembered correctly it was around 9.30am when everyone reached.
Actually I'm proud of myself xD I think I can say I'm in the top 150-200 person out of 1000++ people. Even if it's not exactly top nor is it a competition, I'm happy with myself :D I felt a sense of achievement. :)

Anyway, getting back I was given water and a bun. I stood around cooling off a while, then I sat down leaning on a tree listening to my mp3 waiting for Sofea haha. I didn't have to wait long, she reach 15 minutes later. 

Sofea and me ^^

Was a fun day :D I'll definately join more run in the future :D

In and out, hot and cold, up and down.

I guess the tittle is what describe me best these days?

My mood kept changing.
I could be so hyper and happy one minute, then I'll switch to damn emo and sad.
And vice versa.

Like today, after coming back from Hospital Sungai Long Fun Run, I felt awesome.
Then after a while, I was feeling down. I just felt kind of moodless. -_-

And I think I keep switching between being an extrovert and an introvert -___-
Normally I love going out mingling with peeps, and just simply chat and talk to people.
But then past few days there'll be time when I wanna shout 'Fuck offffffff' when someone talk to me. But of course I can't do that. I'll just make an excuse and go away. Sigh.

There'll be days when I want to be alone all the time, without needing to talk to ANYONE at all. Felt like camping in front of the tv/pc watching NANA, or just snuggling in on the couch reading a book with a cup of hot drink under the air-cond.

Or there'll be days when I want to go out and do stupid things with friends lol. And I'll feel extremely unenergetic if I did not get to socialize with people/ Scumbag brain, WHAT DO YOU WANT.

Sigh =w= I no longer knows what I really want or really feel. I'm lost. Mehhh.

Now I'm listening to songs I'm supposed to learn up for the band. Somehow I don't have the mood to learn it up these few days, and I don't know why. I have no motivation at all. zzzzzz.
And there's 2 weeks till our audition, and a gig. FML.
I hope I could really focus on the songs, but my mind kept wandering away.
But one thing that I'll promise myself is that I'll learn up the songs properly by this week. I have to.

Oh well I don't even know what I'm ranting about here. Just procrastinating I guess :/
And I guess enough rubbish for tonight.
Ciao.

Stupidity.

The previous Friday night, I persuaded mom to let me drive to my piano class alone. It's just about 5 minutes drive from my home. And mom agreed to let me drive there :D

I also told mom that I'll be going for a drink with friends after my class and I won't be home early, but what she did not know is I'm going to fetch Crystal after my class. From my teacher's place to Crystal's home, it's about 6-7 minutes drive I guess.

And so, I drive to Crystal's home after my class. It was all going smoothly till I went into her housing area. I forgot which street she live in, so I began to look at those street sign. And it was dark, there was no street lamp near those signs. And then, I stupidly drove too close to a car, and before I know it, I had rammed into the car. It was stupid of me to not pay full attention on where I'm going. What an idiot. =w=

Well...What happened next was, I quickly reversed, and drove away. :x
And no worries, no damage done. I was going really slowly that time, so I guess no harm done?
I looked at the car as I drove away, can't see any damage.
Anyway, of course I felt guilty :x I felt like kicking myself TwT
But if I'm found out I'll never be able to drive again and that won't do ._.

And yep..That's what happened. I ran into and ran away ._____.
I felt really bad actually, but I guess it's nothing serious .w.

Anyway, lesson learnt. I'll never be so stupid again hahaha, since well...#YOLO.

HOTD photoshoot - View from a zombie

In case you don't know what is HOTD, it's Highschool of The Dead.
And if you don't know what it is then go google it.

Haha actually not that I'm lazy to explain, personally I myself doesn't really know how to explain it since I did not watch the anime or play the game.
I was asked to become a zombie to help with the photoshoot, and since I get the chance to shoot my zombie, I agreed :D

I researched the anime the night before the shoot, (yesterday) and I found it quite gore and ecchi lol.
But the zombies were just...zombies hahahha. So all I need to do is be a zombie :D

I woke up around 7am to prepare everything, since I did not do any preparation before x___x
Yesterday I went out  yumcha lol, came home around 12.30am I think, so I did'nt really have time.
Anyway, woke around 7am, I mixed honey with food coloring to prepare fake blood, and I chose my outfit. Managed to find an oversized shirt that I don't want anymore, and I ripped it up haha.
Then I pack my makeup bag stuff etc, and after that breakfast.

Uncle fetched Kyee and me to KTM after breakfast, and I reach Midvalley around 11am. Then meet the cosers and photographers in front of the cinema. We stayed there chatting for a while, while waiting for the last person to arrive haha. When everyone's there, we headed off to the location, an abandoned school near Midvalley :)

Once reached there I start make up :3
Helped Kyee and the other zombie, Black Roach a little haha.

Picture from my phone:

lol looking kinda ridiculous~
And rofl at Roach hahahha.

Camwhoring zombieeeee'

xD The blood on my shirt looked fake, not enought red T_T

But meh I guess it's acceptable.

Behind the scenes o_o Quite dangerous ._.

While photoshooting, this little bird appear out of nowhere.

It's still around a month old, can't fly yet D:
Roach took it home since Thomas said if we leave the bird alone, it'll die. And I know it will :/
We have no choice but to take it with us.

asdfghj it's so cute ;w;
The picture above was taken at a restaurant we went to after the shoot. Haha it's so cute, sitting at my shoulder TwT And I'm sipping coke as if there's nothing hahahaha.

Well we left after dinner.
Was a nice photo shoot, happy that I get to meet so many people :)
Hope to work with them again xD


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I just saw this in facebook lol xD
Kyee and I photobombed an 'Another' shoot today hahhahah.

hahahhaha.
Okay off to sleep, tomorrow I need to wake up at 6am, going for Sungai Long Fun Run @w@

Ciao!

Update on current life...?

Hmmm not really sure how to start lol.
Past few weeks is quite asdfasdfgsdfghjk to me, if that makes any sense hahaha.

For a start, gotten my SPM result on 21st March. My result can be considered average, perhaps above average. I was shocked, but happy at what I get. Though I was a little bit disappointed too for some certain subjects. Anyway, not much regrets really, it's done and can't be changed.

Anyway, after I've gotten my result, the next step is to visit education fair to source for what I want.
Actually I'm not sure what I want to study before, but I guess I have a faint idea that I want to be in music. Though I'm not sure what type of music I want. Meh.

The visit to the education fair made me realize that I want to venture into sound engineering. Counselors explained to me about that course, about what type of things I'll be doing after I graduated. I guess I like what I heard and feel it suitable.
Thing is, there's a very limited choice of school offering this course. Sigh. Another dilemma.
Right now I'm still sourcing for the right school.

I've checked out Limkokwing, that's all. Yet to check out some other school. No time to go :/
Hope to check out other schools soon.

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I've gotten my driving license finally.
Gotten it on 21st March, when I got my SPM results. Thing is, until now, I haven't really drove much.
Mom won't let me, she's worried.
Sigh. I understand her worries, but it's like she's over paranoid!
She won't let me drive when there's a chance for me to, even if it's not that far.
If this keeps on, how the hell am I supposed to get the freaking experienced needed to drive?
Damn it. And because of this I got so frustrated.

I'm someone that goes out quite alot, but I hate to ask people to fetch me. Sigh.
If I ask mom to drive me somewhere, she'll nag. Ask bro, he's busy with his stuff screw it. And I get it, driving people somewhere could be troublesome, but they can't freaking expect me to keep asking my friends to drive me. Damn it. As if they like to keep fetching me.

Now that I have a license I feel quite useless. Have a license but can't drive.
Not that I don't want to, but because I;m not allowed to. Fuck my life. =___=
I honestly wish I could secretly drive out, but I'm not that stupid. If something happens then I'm dead meat.

Sigh. What I need now is experience T___________T
And even though mom did let me drive once in a blue moon, it's gonna take a freaking long time for me to get used to driving cause:

1) It happens only once in blue moon duh
2) She's freaking PARANOID. Which results in me being paranoid too. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh


Bleh. Enough of this topic I guess I'll get really frustrated all over again.


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Hmm..I was quite touchy and emotional too. It started with the driving stuff, but then other little things irritate me more and more. All financial, family, future, studies, etc etc stuff bothers me.
Resulted in me sulking easily, till mom got mad too.
Then one day I just freaking let it all out. Screamed and cried. But in the end I still can't figure out what it really is bothering. Maybe it's all stress from current family condition.
Not in a really good situation. But still can make do.

And I'm still a bit touchy these days. I'll get phase like I just don't want to talk to anyone at all and feel like I want to scream STFU when people talks to me. Or I'll get phases when I just want to go out and socialize with people.

I still have no idea what's wrong with me.
Meh.
Bro called it the after form 5 phase, we get emotional and touchy.
Crystal is experiencing it too haha.

But I guess I'm feeling better than last week.

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And most recent stuff is...band. Gonna have audition for Jrock no tamashii on 28th April, first jamming session will be this Sunday. ....Crap, I still haven't booked a studio. Meh, I'll book now.
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Okay done haha.
Back to what I was talking about, I thought this time we won't be rushing like last time since there's only 2 songs, and we have a month to jam.
Oh, guess I'm wrong. There's another gig suddenly, and now we need to add another 4 songs.

Kinda worried, but hope everything goes well.
*cross fingers*

 And I received our photoshoot pictures. Out of 182, there's around 7-10 really nice pictures. Most of it is blur, since we're in a rush that time.
I feel like I've wasted everyone's time since I guess I didn't plan properly. Sigh. :/

Anyway, at least there's some nice one.

 And now, I'll learn up what I need to learn for the audition lol~

Ciao, gonna camp in front of my keyboard and the pc all day now. =w=/

Traditional Vocaloid Photoshoot!

A photo first, in case you're wondering what the hell is a traditional vocaloid.
To be exact it's more like Vocaloid in traditional clothing. And I'm Luka in Punjabi.

Aki Hellcove organized this project. He asked me to join, and I'm like..Why not? It;ll be fun meeting friends and going out xD Plus I think traditional clothing looks beautiful >w<

Anyway, we took a group photo at the start first.

There's Meiko in cheongsam, Kaito in Baju Melayu, Miku in baju kebaya, and Luka in Punjabi suit.

We're the four cosers, and the four dudes at the back is photogs and saikang haha.
From the left: Alex, Ikmal, Aki, and Ayasaki.

Actually Ikmal is the only saikang, the others are photogs.
Thanks to Ikmal for guarding our bangs and stuff while we went to shoot. :D


Anyway, the photogs took turns to shoot each of us individually, though Miku and Kaito stick together.

Photos's by different photogs. Sorry I mixed it all up @w@

Anyway, it was kinda funny trying to do some poses. Hhahaha Alex and Aki tried demonstrating to me by dancing, so looked so funny I had to laugh xD Anyway, I think it's not bad. But then in some shoots I look so tired lol. Seems like my cosplay makeup skill dropped. .__.

Nowdays didn't do any costest. I feel like I'm getting further from cosplay.
Meh. Guess I'm focused in other area.


Anyway, after we finished shooting, it starts to rain. Lucky us xD
Though during the shoot everyone was cursing cause the weather was damn hot and we're all sweating our ass off.

Later, Aki, Sara, Sandra, Xuet, ALex and I head to The Mins to have our very late lunch. We went to KFC, and Aki generously treated us :O

Sankyuu Aki!!!
And I guess that's all xD

Yenni's 21st Birthday party!

*Throws confetti*

Haha okay, I know I'm late in updating.
This party happened on Saturday, 30th of March.

Yenni invited me to her party at her house, I went along with Chi and Hao Yong.
Chi came along to my house first and we wrapped up the present and wrote a simple card lol.

Card with the present as background haha

Cousin bro fetched us to Yenni's house since he was heading there to have dinner with his family.

He was late though haha. Derped around waiting for him.

Sexyyyyy backkkkkk

Lol my hair color is kinda like autumn now xD

Green transitioning to reddish brown :3

Kinda like it hahaha. But was planning to chop it off soon :D

To this style:

Lol I uploaded this picture on Facebook and alot of them thinks I really cut my hair xD
It was just styled from my current long hair haha, I twisted it at the back and brought it to the front.

Okay, back to the topic, we kinda got lost trying to find her house. xwx
Yenni's house was hard to find xD And she herself doesn't know how to direct xD Yenni no baka~~ hahahhaa

Food prepared there~ Oishi katta :3
After we ate, we chat a while then it's time to cut cake~

Huge fruit cake :D

Yenni with friends and family~~~

After that we chat again lol, then got dragged to play truth or dare.
Hahahaha miss playing that game. >w<
Anyway, I was dared to be Yenni's pole for pole dancing.

Lol. It was funny, she was so energetic xD hahahha
Though by the end of the song she's kinda dying XD
And after that had to rush home :/
Sad that I couldn't stay longer.

But of well, it was fun :3
Thanks for inviting me Yenni XD