Monday, June 27, 2016

Lost my spirits

Seems like I've abandoned my blog...

There is so many things happening, so many emotions within me, I just can't keep up anymore.

Working in this company, I was happy at first. I met new friends, visit new places, minimal problems with my boss.

But when it's time to renew, problems start. Delays start. I was supposed to go home in May for a vacation, Now it's almost July, and I still am waiting for news. I'm so tired of asking everyday. 

Now, I'm all alone here. All my close friends have left. The closest friend will come back to this island in a week, thank god for that, but it's just different as she's not working on the same hotel anymore. I miss her.

My emotions is like the waves here, on this rainy season. HUGE crashing waves, spinning my emotions in turmoil. At times, it's calm. But there will be no warning when it will get rough.
I'm so tired of everything. Especially myself. My emotion.

Yesterday, I went out with the bands from another hotel, we explored around and met other bands.
It was a night of laughter for me. But yet when I got back, I broke down until I feel asleep.
When I woke up, I didn't even realize that it's morning. I thought I was just having an afternoon nap.

I have no idea what's happening to me.
All these waiting, it's exhausting.

Don't get me wrong, I am not unhappy working on this island. It's just that the problems I have with the boss, he kept me waiting about things so long. Damn tired of this.
Also because I'm all alone here now, I feel more depressed than ever.

I applied for another job on another hotel.
Now I'm just praying to god to let me have it.

And to just keep on waiting for it all to be over with this hotel.

I'll be fine.