Thursday, April 28, 2011


Geez. Nowdays I'm so useless. Everything I do FAIL. FAIL. FAIL!!! FML.

Why the hell I can't seem to memorize my piano songs?? Why can't I sing like I wanted to? Why can't I have the willpower to keep up my diet and exercise?! FUCK.

And why the hell I can't find enough willpower to study?!!!
My school studies SUCK, my japanese SUCK, my music theory SUCK.



I tried, tried, tried...But everything just SUCK.
Maybe I din't try hard enough?


I'm so down nowdays =_= No confidence.
Geez. And I know I seem okay, but I'm not.
Because I'm faker.
I hate faker.
And I hate myself.


Monday, April 25, 2011

Wiggie + Cosplay!!

=3= I received my Sen and Chihiro costume last Saturday!! xD

Read more about it here. Find the post yourself xD That's a blog I made to keep track of my cosplay =w=

I had so much fun messing around with the wig xD
At first it was like this:

To this:

xD I wash it, use loads of conditioner, then trim it, then iron it with my hair straightener =3= xD

Messing around xD What do you think I look like with long hair? XDD
And here's my Sen (from Spirited Away) cospay:

TeeHee. Gotto go, dinner time~ Bye!


Saturday, April 16, 2011


Since last year, my inspiration for the piano is gone.
I tortured myself to keep on learning, eventhough I almost give up last year.
Now that I'm in a higher grade, everything just changes.
Whenever I want to learn new songs, I will learn till halfway and stop.
I can't seem to learn it properly. I can't play without looking at the sheet music, and I can't remember it at all.
I'm very depressed about it then, but I ignore it, thinking that it'll blow over..

Yeah, until now, I haven't learn a piece properly. It's already been a year.
What the heck am I doing all those time, I don't know.
I guess I'm just practicing pieces my teacher gave me, without emotions.
My teacher said that too..."Learn to play more detailed, play with more feelings!"

Sigh...I wonder what happened to me. I used to love playing piano so much, I could sit in front of it all day...And nowdays I would sit in front of it for 30 minutes, and then I'll get bored...
To me, piano is nothing but something that makes a sound.

And then everything changed.

After watching this video, I remembered how beautiful can a piano sound.
It's like something just snaps inside me, somehow this seems so damn nostalgic...
Then I went to my piano, and randomly select a slow song to play...I played Yuki Kajiura's 'At Dawn', and I hear something I haven't heard in 1 year time. Seriously, I almost cried...I've forgotten how beautiful my piano can sound like..And most important, I've forgotten how great is the feeling to play a piece. nicely..
Sigh..The feeling is just..Unexplainable.
All I know is, it's very nostalgic and I just hope, just hope that this feeling won't run away from me again.

p.s: Wow. I just checked, and the last time I recorded a song and put it in YouTube is 11 months ago...It's been that long huh..I'll try my best to record a new song and put it on YouTube :)

Lol. My old YouTube account XD


Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Meh. Everything's a mess right now. School,my room, time management.....

At school, I'm left behind on all the homeworks since last month..I don't understand what the heck is teacher talking about and I've certainly have no mood to pay even more attention...Those teacher sucks at teaching and their behavior is completely unacceptable! -.-

Home. My room's a total mess...For example...
Mess mess mess..

Books, files, unmade bed...

Table with almost everything you can think of...

Cardboard boxes ont the floor...

My wardrobe stuffed with all types of garments....

And yeah, more here.

Haha. I wonder who will be the poor victim that will share a room with me when I'm at
My mum just gave me a bunch of tanktops she found in her wadrobe...I've no idea where to put it..And when my cosplay stuff, I've got a feeling that my room will be the worse..:x

I think I'll clean out my room on Thursday..Problem is, with my damn lazy character and my sinuses problem, I doubt it'll get it done in a day...Sigh...T^T

My time management...broke down.

I have really weak willpower...T^T
I can't seem to find time for my studies, japanese studies, piano practice, exercise, and looking after my dogs...Everyday after school, I sleep...I'm tired :( While I sleep, those time that were supposed to be used for my studies and bla bla bla is gone.

See what I mean when I have weak willpower? I just ignore the important things...Damn it. And I've gained weight again, just when I managed to lose some I gained it back, FML.


That's what my mind would yell everyday, and I'll reply, "But the swimming pool's cold..I'm tired..Tomorrow.'

I hate that word. Sometimes I wish that 'tomorrow' will never come.

Sigh...I'm stressing out !@#$%^&

I'm gonna take Japanese N3 exam this July, and I HAVE TO PASS.
And I've got piano grade 5 theory and practical...Damn.
And after seeing my suckish March test result, I realized I really MUST study...

Without realizing it's now 12.11AM. And I've got school tomorrow. See? I just hate the word tomorrow.

Wearing a hoodie while blogging lol. It's cold @_@
Sigh. I don't even know how to get started on things that I need to do. All I can say is, I can and I will somehow manage to get it done.


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Kalafina's 「GLORIA」 fandub by [Joee]

I recorded this at midnight lol xD

Anyway, I'm kinda experimenting with my voices...I used 4 types of voices in here, and both the recording and editing killed me OTL..

Well, sorry if I made Kalafina's fan mad with my 'wailing', I just love this song so much and couldn't resist ._.

Sigh...I kinda mess up at the chorus..It's so messy T_T
Gomen, Kalafina ...

Song originally by Yuki Kajiura and Kalafina.
Nothing in this video belong to me, except my voice.
The picture is from google.

~Joee ~

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Random Countdown Survery

Saw this at Aeri's blog.
It's interesting, so I'm gonna do it >w<

TEN things about yourself:

  1. i am carefree
  2. i love hanging out
  3. i have weird sneezes..whenever i sneeze, it's gotta be 5 times in a row or more -.-"
  4. i have a birthmark on my right hand
  5. i hides my feeling sometimes
  6. i am lazy
  7. i am messy
  8. i am crazy
  9. i can be emo and cheerful
  10. i am random and imperfect

NINE of your favourite songs:

  1. Pledge - The Gazette
  2. Gloria - Kalafina
  3. Magnet - Vocaloid
  4. Alice ni Sayonara - Vocaloid
  5. Infection - Chihiro Onizuka
  6. I talk to the rain - Yuki Kajiura
  7. Last Word - Rentrer En soi
  8. Innocence - Avril Lavigne
  9. Just Be Friends - Vocaloid

EIGHT things you love/like:

  1. my family
  2. my dog
  3. my friends
  4. my piano
  5. my violin
  6. anime
  7. cosplay
  8. travelling

SEVEN people you’re glad to have in your life:

  1. my mum ♥
  2. my stupid bro~
  3. aki
  4. all my other friends (opps...rules broken..)
  5. gan sensei~
  6. my idiotic sis~
  7. my uncle

SIX things you dislike:

  1. STUDYING!!!!!!
  2. Getting sick =.="
  3. My body T^T DIET DIET DIET!
  4. Stupid racism =_=""
  5. Being powerless
  6. Being ignored =_=!

FIVE things you wish you could say to FIVE different people right now:

  1. i wish i could hear your voice and see you again
  2. i did not promise you anything ok?! stop jumping to conclusion!! I have my own reason! =_=!!
  3. FUCK OFF!! Don't you realize you are damn annoying?! Get a hint!! Why do you think I always appear offline for?? DUH!
  4. Stop being a faker and liar!!! That's just low =_=!!
  5. What's the point of being jealous??? You din't even try your best!!

FOUR ways to win your heart:

  1. be romantic and hot >:3
  2. be cool and calm :D:D:D
  3. HONESTY!!!
  4. have the same interest with me :3

THREE things you’ll most likely never forget:

  1. my family
  2. my friends
  3. my dog

TWO things you do everyday:

  1. sleep
  2. eat

ONE confession:

  1. Eventhough I act like I'm okay, I'm actually not.