Friday, September 17, 2010


FOR MY GANG!! = =  

Ok, first of all, I can't sleep because I kept thinking about these things that make me mad. Yeah, be prepared to be offended. I'm seriously mad now.

Nowdays, I feel that you guys are telling lies, being so damn secretive. And I admit, I'm also like that too sometimes. And I wanted to say sorry.

But you know what piss me off? It's like..I don't know how to say. Some examples:

Josephine, remember today you borrowed my Sejarah Form 1 textbook? And I keep asking you what's wrong and you keep saying 'nothing'? Well, OBVIOUSLY it's not nothing. If I'm not mistaken, one of your teacher at tuition teaches something wrong right? And I understand why you don't want to tell me, but damn it, can't you just say that I'm not supposed to know? And when I turned away, you continued telling Teeth that something.

Teeth, sometimes, when you talked about something I'm not supposed to know, that is FINE with me. Except that you talk about it infront of me which piss me off. When I asked about it, you said 'don't want to tell you'. Well, if I can't know, why even mentioned it infront of me?! Is it spite? Sigh. I can't really understand. If I'm mistaken about anything tell me. It's not like you don't know me, right? I'm blur and stupid. I'm sorry.

Bamboo de, (._.") it's not like I have anything against you. It' just like sometimes you're kinda like Teeth too. Like, today, about the picture, whatever, I don't need to see it at all, but, I hate it when you tell me, 'don't want show you' while they all look. Sigh.

You guys, I know what are you all thinking now. 'You're also like that'. True. I din't say I wasn't. I'm also being secretive too, and I hate to admit, SPITEFUL.

Yeah, I want to say I'm awfully sorry, Josephine. About the Lavender sms thingy. While at my home, I'm already feel pissed off. That's why I din't feel like showing you. Plus, I din't lie completely at the restaurant too. I'm not sure if Lavender would be okay with it. Also, here's the stupid reason why I din't ask you to study group:

A stupid damn reason and I'm damn angry at myself. Remember when you put aeroplane? In my mind, I just though that you're the one that keep wanting to go out, you're the one that's like so comfirmed about everything. And I had though that you've asked your mum, that's why you're so comfirmed. And then you put aeroplane. -.- I'm pissed off. But now I can see that I'm also stupid myself.

And to YOU ALL, I'm sorry too. For anything I said that is not true. Please correct me if I'm wrong. And for my stupidness, spitefulness. I can't really remember, but I think I'm not secretive in front of people I don't want them to know about. And again, if I'm wrong, SORRY.

I also realized, that maybe sometimes I'm like what I just wrote. I'm not sure. If yeah, SORRY.

Sigh. Enough of all these stuff. Now I wrote it all down, I'm wondering about why are we being secretive. We're friends, right? But sometimes we just can't seem to trust each other. I hate all the secret, it's tearing our friendship down.

I'm feeling desperate now. Part of my life changed because of you guys. I don't want these things to tear it down now. It just started. I'm scared. I just hope by writting this I'll get help and we'll all change. Not make our friendship die.

Sigh. From a mad feeling, now it's desperation and dissapointment.   

Btw, I used all those 'nicknames' just in case.

私たちは、本当に友達なの? 友達れば、このバカの物をやめて下さいよ。くるしいですから。 

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