Heh. My first post in the year of 2017 and I am writing it near the end of the year.

It's been one hell of a roller coaster ride. So I got out of a relationship last year, dive into another one 3 months later, and that lasted only 10 months as well lol. What's with both of my past 2 relationships just lasting for 10 months? And why do they both ends in October?!

Anyway.....I am back to Kuala Lumpur now.
The Vietnam chapter of my book is closed. No more working there anymore. Even if I do go back, it will be just for travel.

Reasons I am back to Kuala Lumpur again now is because of yet another hurdle to my family. My mom especially.

She found out her heart is blocked, with only 30% of oxygen flow left.
For whatever reasons (I think it's because her heart isn't strong enough or something like that), she won't be able to do Angioplasty, she have to go through the Heart Bypass surgery. My mom have to quit her job, since she isn't that well now and she is weak.

Me, I have to come home and be the slave haha.
Do housework, run errands, settle documents and shits, be her driver, stuff like that. But yeah, I am back here to help and be around her.

I rushed home last minute cause my mom was hospitalized. And I was freaked out by my brother calling me saying that I should come back and see her just in case any shit happens. Since my uncle passed away suddenly last year because of his heart too. I miss him, I never got to see him in over a year, and I never got to say goodbye....

Anyway.
I'm back. Whether I like it or not.
At times I feel really happy to be around my family and friends, but at times I feel like my life has been taken and turned upside down. This wasn't my plan.

I wanted to work in Phu Quoc until the low season, then come home, and head to Europe and study music. But now, I am forced to be back here, to face things I didn't want to face.
I am lost, and I could not find out what I want here. I feel like I don't belong, I miss the sea, the beach, the nature, the quiet life.
I didn't ask for a hectic city lifestyle :/

And I have to find a job here too. I went for 3 interviews in a day last week.
I left the first interview feeling extremely miserable. Not because that I didn't get the job, but it kinda hit me hard that I didn't know exactly what I wanna do, how lost I was, and how much I hated the working environment in Kuala Lumpur.

Basically, I applied for a position and a Japanese Speaking Travel Coordinator. I failed the Japanese translation test (written). Lol I applied thinking that it'll be more of speaking Japanese than translating emails. They told me my spoken Japanese is good, but they need someone for written translation. So...Meh.

As I left the place and drove to a second interview, I broke down in the car.
I hated that I have to be back here, and in that moment I almost skipped all other interviews I have and almost decide to go to the beach instead (2 hours drive). Yeah, that's how much I miss the sea.
I hate that I have to find some job that I don't really like. I hate that people here are so uptight and stressed. Everyone felt like a zombie to me.

But well the boring and sensible part got the better of me and I still went off to the remaining interviews. One of it are interested, they followed up with 2 calls for me to finish the assesment test, but I didn't complete it and told them to cancel my application. The thought of working in an office is just not me. I applied for the job thinking it's more of face to face customer care, not stuck in a corner answering calls and emails.

The other job interview, I got offered a job. But I still decide to decline it because the offered salary wasn't enough. Sigh I felt bad for wasting their time and my time. But I guess now I should just focus on my mom and home, and only think about jobs starting next year. I was rushing with applying jobs cause I felt trapped at home, and restless.

But now that I bought a piano, and I am a bit more free with mom getting better (although her surgery won't be until next week) I am more happy. I think it's the piano working it's magic, and some beer and tinder dates HAHA.

Anyway......I guess this is life. We don't always get what we want, but we just have to try the best possible..